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Metabalife and Oreo Cookies

I've had troubles with my diet, recently.  Although I lost 80 pounds in 2000, last year I gained 30 back again.  I've been struggling with cravings, especially chocolate. 
I've found something recently that I think might work.  I've been taking a diet aid called "Metabalife."  As best I can tell, it's a nutritional supplement that provides minerals to your body that will decrease cravings for carbohydrates.  The instructions say that you are to take one tablet twice daily with meals.   So that's what I've been doing.  One tablet with half a pizza, three burgers, fries, a shake and a piece of chocolate cake.
And guess what!!!  It works.  I'm not having the cravings anymore.  I'm not losing weight, yet, but I'm sure that the weight loss is just around the corner.  In no time at all, I'll be skinnier than Calista Flockhart.
Have you heard of the stress diet?  It's supposed to reduce feelings of stress that often accompany dieting.  I haven't tried it yet, but it looks promising.
  • Breakfast
    • 1/2 Grapefruit
    • 1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry
    • 8 oz. Skim Milk

  • Lunch
    • 4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
    • 1 cup Steamed Spinach
    • 1 cup Herb Tea
    • 1 Oreo Cookie

  • Mid-Afternoon Snack
    • Rest of the Oreos in the package
    • 2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
    • 1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
    • Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream

  • Dinner
    • Loaves Garlic Bread with Cheese
    • Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza
    • 4 Cans or 1 Large Pitcher of Beer
    • 3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars

Rules For This Diet

  1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
  2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda.
  3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
  4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
  5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
  7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
  8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
  9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
  10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.

Try this: